My 26 birthday are coming up this Friday. I have to admit that this year is one of the most difficult and challenging I’ve ever been. As I approach this new quarter of my life, I have decided that I will restart my life for a whole new different journey. While many of my friends getting promoted in their job, having kids, and buying their own house, I quit something that I worked on for these past year. Starting this year, I want to work on something that I should have done from before.
Fear
Me and my fear. Something I always experienced everyday. From the very first time I wake up in the morning, to thos late nights i can not sleep, shes always there. I never knew what i fear about in the first place. But it will always be there. My heart ache every time. I feel like I can not go anywhere. I tried to rum and hide but it never go away. Is this something that can be cured? Or is it just me? Am I going to always feel like this for my whole life? Honestly its really tiring.
Start my quarantine project
Because of the quarantine, I spent most of my time home. I work half of the time at my home and never go out unless there is an urgency to do so. In a time like this, I don’t think I can be any help to the situation, so my goal is only to stay sane until the quarantine ends.
I’m going back to what I always loved to do: Sketching and Drawing. Of course, I have to start by purchasing all the tools (without any specific knowledge of how to use them). Meanwhile, it turns out we can always start with only paper and pencil. I got a book by Michael Hampton called Figure Drawing, Design, and Invention online. I planned to document all my learning progress by the end of this weeks, and see how I’m doing for each week.
Good luck to me!
PS : #Dirumahaja and stay safe everyone
The Growth Mindset
In the last couple of days, I started to read a book in the title “Mindset” by Carol Dweck. I just completed the first part. The author tried to introduce the concept of mindset by this book. So they are telling about two different kinds of mindset that people have, growth and fixed mindset. People with a growth mindset usually love challenges, are not afraid of failing, and always trying to better themselves. Fixed mindset people are the opposites.
It is a simple concept and most of us already knew about it, but still, we’re keeping our fixed mindset. Reading the book, I think it emphasizes how important this mindset is to almost all of the aspects of our lives. Rather than dwelling over the reason why we are having a fixed mindset in the first place, the book tried to help us develop a growth mindset.
REVIEW Jo Malone Peony & Blush Suede
Notes : Open up with apple and floral notes but after the suede note is much more dominant.
Feels : Floral, Leathery, Powdery terkesan elegan dan calm. Unisex.
Occasion : Semi Formal
Price Range : Rp 1.8k – 2.3k for 100 ml
Sillage : Moderate
Longetivity : This is my very first Jo Malone putchase and for the price they offer, the longetivity is dissapointing. I give it 3 out of 5 at best. Only last for 3 hours.
Conclusion : I love the scents tapi dried down scentsnya sangat faint dan hampir invincible. Untuk harga sebesar ini I have to say that it is not worth to repurchase. Maybe I will have to try another peony perfume that is stronger than this one.
What do you think about “passion”?
Stop searching for your passion
passion : intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction; a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept
On the other side of the world
Last week me and my friends go out together to find any good library to visit, and it happened to be the library behind my high school. we talked about issues relating to how our country have a high percentage of sexual abuse cases, espescially against women. we concluded that the main problem comes from how people see things only from their perspective, without underdstanding the bigger pictures. Ignorance, they said. Ignoring others view because they don’t understands it. i personally think this is not their own fault as they are not privileged emough to have that much of information. some people are just stucked in their own places with their own people. the specific ideas keeps circulating, claimed to be culture/tradition, but actually they are just outdated ideas that does not ever evolve because how little the people interacts with other.
it shows how important education is. education is not about changing how we view the world, but more about how our ideas evolve. Evolving ideas means we understands others view enough to determine our own. I think there isnt any idea that is wrong, or right. it is just about what we choose to believe and how we applied it. Blindly follow an idea without understanding about how others will react to that idea just shows that you are uneducated.
and me, i feel like i have responsibility to educate myself even more. i want to understand others, and how they view the world with their perspective. i am certain that different people lives different lifes and each have so much story to tell, so many ideas to share. and while i am young, i want to know more, i want to find myself.
Daily Makeup Products Recommendation
1. Base : Bourjouis CC Cream / Milani Foundation
2. Lips : Peripera Ink Velvet – Brick Brown / Apieu Lip Tint
3. Mascara : Any Loreal Mascara
4. Blush : Emina Cream Blush / Elf Blush Bronzer Duo
5. Powder : Marcks Loose Powder
6. Eyeshadow : Morphe
++ skincare :
1. Acnes Facial Foam
2. Cosrx Pads
3. Innisfree Jeju Volcanic Clay Mask
4. Bioderma Cleansing Toner
Uncertainty
Living my days in uncertainty is something i used to be afraid of. i am proud of how i tried to get out of my comfort zone and experiencing it more.
Women-only passenger car
A little rant about how i struggle to handle some misogynist in my life.
1. Those who think men have lower emotional quality level and women have to tolerate all the dumb things they have done. Everyone matures in different ways, it is never about the gender.
2. Those who compares women by their physique. “no matter what they do, as long as she is pretty than she’s good”. No, just no.
3. Those who think it is okay to hit on women even if they show signs that they are uncomfortable. it is worse when they already told them to stop but they consider it as a challenge.
4. Those who says “i like women who is smart” and “i don’t want a partner who is smarter than me, women have to be reserved and feminine”. wow you just contradicts yourself, it is obviously impossible for you to have both.
5. Those who says women who is not working and focusing being a mom is not a feminist. This is totally wrong. Feminism means to allow women to choose for themselves, and being a full-time mom is a really great decision to have. Working mom is cool, Staying at home mom is also cool. Even if you choose to not be a mother, you’re awesome too.
6. Those who think women only passenger cars is a privilege. http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/2017/07/indonesia-womenonly/
Being in an environment where male dominates the population, i will say that i have learned so much about gender equality. At first, i realize there are some things that these people do unconsciously, because they are ignorant about these problems. I feel like i have to adapt. However, the more i think about it, i know that i don’t have to adapt to something i don’t agree with. I have to show them what i think and how they should respect me, not as a women, but as a human being. Even though we are different biologically, we are all just human and have same rights to speak on our own.
per-ə-grən 